The Inappropriateness of Sheldon Cooper
by MyOwnStar
Summary: A Cinco de Mayo party brings out a naughty side of Sheldon Penny isn't prepared for...and can't resist. Story challenge with Tjay M. ALTERNATE ENDINGS included!


**CHALLENGE FIC with Tjay M. SunnyCitrus10 provided the prompts below! :) Tjay M was my beta! :)**

**Challenge words: **sombreros**, **margaritas**, **tequila**, **mariachi**, **guacamole and maracas

**Required actions: **wearing a sombrero**, **playing the maracas**, **drinking a margarita (virgin or alcoholic), making or having fresh guacamole made

**NOTE: I went to Google language translator to translate some simple English to Spanish so I apologize if it translated it wrong. It isn't a lot.**

**STORY HAS ALTERNATE ENDINGS! **

XXX

Loosened by more than one gulp of alcohol, his hands spanned down my ribcage but I was backed against the sturdiest wooden fence and found the ability to move difficult. (Primarily, because I didn't particularly want to.)

Ah, let me explain. This story is better told starting at 10pm, after Sheldon was good and satisfied that laundry was washed, when we left for the Cinco de Mayo party my friend was hosting.

What's that, you ask? Why didn't Leonard take him? Oh…yeah, well…I lost a bet last week. Long story…moving on.

So, here I am-the only female in our motley crew-stuck babysitting Sheldon. (I'm ashamed to admit this isn't the first time).

**10:00pm**

"Ready?"

Sheldon's sigh was resigned and he turned curtly, locking his door. "I suppose. Though I already celebrate one Independence Day, why celebrate another?"

"Because it's fun! And culturally enlightening," I responded, smiling up at him as we walked down the steps.

He gave me a side ways glance and opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him with my hand in the air. "That didn't require a response. Let's just go."

**10:20pm**

Assholes. The others guys were there and already pretty tipsy and I knew that made me designated driver. What the hell? This was _my _friend's party!

All three were drinking margaritas while I looked around for the make shift bar, which I was informed was inside.

The party was festive, authentic, and fun. The backyard it was set up in looked a lot bigger than it actually was, and so many people were dancing, eating and drinking. I smiled at the mariachiband playing on a small stage in the corner, a couple of the men wearing authentic sombreros.

I followed a few people inside to see where the margaritas were and saw a table filled with a variety of alcohol and soda. I briefly picked up a bottle of tequila and was about to pour myself just one tiny shot when a voice startled me.

"Don't you think that's a bad idea?"

"God, Sheldon! I almost shit myself! Why don't you tell someone you're behind them!" I continued to pour myself a _normal_ sized shot.

I heard someone giggle and looked over at the counter where an older woman was making guacamole.

"Sorry," I called out. She just smiled and said something in Spanish.

"As I said, don't you think that's a bad idea? You are, after all, my only ride home-or at least my only _safe_ ride home." Sheldon's eyebrows shot up and he looked at me expectantly.

"Well, no harm in one drink-"

"Penny, please, of course there is. The statistics-"

"Just, here. Don't waste this then."

"What?" He almost dropped the shot I thrust in his hand.

I yanked his opposite hand up and pushed it towards his face. "Lick it."

"Excuse me?"

"Your hand. Lick it."

"Why?"

"_Do it_." I was already annoyed at my little Joy Kill of a neighbor and if I couldn't have a drink, well, hell, I would have fun seeing him have a drink. It was actually an entertaining sight.

He gave me a weird look, but obeyed, licking the heel of his hand. I sprinkled salt on it and held up a lemon wedge. "Ok, now…lick the salt, knock back the shot, eat the lemon. Got it?"

"But I-"

"Sheldon, I swear I will leave you stranded here. And that woman over there has been looking at you like you're a lost piece of man-ass she wants to get her hands on."

He glanced at the woman, who was now making other food to bring out, and blinked a couple of times. "Well, I don't want that.…" He turned quickly away when she winked at him. I suppressed a laugh.

He sighed, but finally licked the salt, started to drink the shot (which I had to grab, tilt his head back, and force him to fully swallow), and shoved a lemon in his mouth. He stumbled back and winced at the heat of the tequila and the sourness of the lemon. He coughed and threw the lemon wedge on the table.

"Horrendous."

I only smiled.

**11:00pm**

When we had left the house for the backyard again, Sheldon started to loosen up a bit. What a lightweight. But, then again, it didn't help that he partook in a couple more shots later and…wait, did I see him drinking a margarita? Oh, geez. The guys were a horrible influence tonight.

It was when he started gazing at me in a strange way that I realized Sheldon was really starting to get drunk. I groaned to myself as I handed Sheldon a quesadilla to eat. The boy needed some carbs in his stomach and fast. He didn't eat before we came so the alcohol was taking full effect faster than it otherwise would have.

Raj giggled as he held maracas and circled us. He began playing said maracas in a fashion someone of my current state of sobriety found irritating. I slipped away for a second and stole a drink from the make shift bar inside, chugging it.

Ah, liquid tolerance.

I stepped out, deciding I should mingle with the friend who actually invited me. I found her dancing with a guy and decided I would catch up with here later.

**11:17pm**

Then it started: the inappropriateness.

I was eating some of the smorgasbord of food when I felt something glide across one of my butt cheeks. With my mouth full of warm beans with melted cheese, I looked down in time to see fingers sweep away.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked up to see who the touch was from.

_Sheldon_. Uh…what?

I opened my mouth to say something but he just looked over the food as if he himself didn't know he'd touched me.

I'm not proud to admit this, but I blushed a little.

**11:32pm**

I was swept on to the small wooden dance floor that was set by a relatively good looking guy with dark features and great moves. Ah…finally. I was doing what I intended to do: get some drinks, get some eats, and hook up with a hot guy-the old Penny is BACK!

I learned some new moves and they were forgotten moments later, but who cares?

I closed my eyes briefly as I danced with the guy and felt fingers gliding down my back. When I opened them again, I thought back to the touch I just received. Unless the guy I was dancing with was double jointed, the caress came from behind me.

I turned and my mouth dropped when I found Sheldon with two others girls trying to get him to dance with them. He clutched a red cop in his hand and I leaned over and grabbed it, sniffing the contents.

He wasn't far from me, so I leaned over and shouted over the music, "Maybe you should ease up on the drinks, Sheldon!"

"Nonsense. I'm well aware of my tolerance." The way he said 'tolerance' told me he wasn't well aware of anything just then.

He reached for his cup, his fingers purposefully sliding over mine as he smiled lazily at me, turning his focus on the women in front of him.

**12:04am**

The guys were all dispersed and the festivities were still raging on. I nursed a drink or two throughout the night, mindful of my consumption but knowing cabs were always an option.

I was looking for Sheldon who I hadn't seen in a while. I turned in a few circles as I looked for the man who was normally easy to spot in a crowd (he's six foot two). Then I spotted him.

Or, at least I hoped I did. In the far corner of the backyard, beyond the thickets of people, was a man sitting on a white outdoor chair, head bowed, wearing a sombrero, his hands resting on the arms of the plastic chair.

Senor Cooper.

As I approached him, I wondered if he was sleeping, but the way his gaze lazily drifted up quickly informed me otherwise. The hat looked ridiculous on him and I started to laugh a little. I expected a scolding or a glare, but instead he just smirked and looked away.

"How long have you been here? Are you feeling ok?" I leaned down and put my hand on his shoulder. "Did you barf or anything?"

"No," he sighed out. "But I'm not proud to admit I think I urinated in a bush."

I chuckled. Oh, God.

"We better get home-"

"Penny." His eyes were suddenly on mine and I stood straight.

Oh, no. Was he gonna barf of me?

Nope, not Sheldon. It was just another bout of the same from that night: some (charming) inappropriateness.

"Can I touch your boob?"

**12:10am**

I swatted his hands away a few times. "Sheldon," I hissed. "We're in public. There are people all over the place!"

This? THIS was my worry? Not that he'd just boldly asked to touched my breasts accompanied by the attempt to actually DO IT?

His hands finally rested in front of him and he blinked up at me. "I feel funny," he said.

"Sick?"

"No."

"Drunk?"

"I'm certain I am, but no."

"Like your inhibitions have been lowered?" I inwardly sigh at the memory of Leonard's mother telling me about her lowered inhibitions concerning a certain busboy at The Cheesecake Factory.

"Yes. I believe so…." Sheldon gave me a studious look (well, as much as he could since his eyes were glazed and his hands still twitched with the desire to reach out and touch something (my mounds)). "I suppose I'm a bit perplexed," he started, slurring his words. "If alcohol is a depressant, then why does one feel an acceleration in one's arousal?"

"Uh-say what?" I instinctively stepped back from his words.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Sheldon openly admitting he was horny.

He ignored my question, probably didn't even hear it.

"Oh, Penny. Penny, Penny, Penny." He took off the sombrero and placed it neatly on the ground next to him. He stood up and I honestly thought 'ok, now comes the barfing' but the man held his liquor. I gave him that much.

"Oh, Sheldon, Sheldon, Shel-" but my return banter was cut off as my upper arm was dragged towards wherever Sheldon was taking me.

Uh…

And… ok, yeah, I was lost in the moment. What the hell was going on? I looked behind me but the masses of people all just partied on as I was led to the darkest corner of the backyard.

I hoped there weren't any crazy little animals lurking about. I wasn't in the mood to get bitten.

Little did I know, the only animal I would encounter that night was the one dragging me away from crowd.

**12:15am**

My head thudded against the fence as Sheldon backed me into it, but I actually think he stumbled by accident. It didn't matter because seconds later, his finger was trailing down my cheek as his other hand glued itself to my back.

"You ignored me all night," he murmured.

"Oh, come on. No, I didn't. I brought you here. The guys are here-"

He let out a protesting noise. "They're in pursuits of their own delusional partnering. The women here are out of their leagues."

"What about you?" I challenge gently, pushing his chest away from me. He only moved two inches. I really didn't want to be hit on by Sheldon, who would no doubt forget about this tomorrow or worse, be angry at _me _for it happening in the first place.

I ain't gonna lie to you…it was hard. Sheldon, in all his arrogant and crazy ass glory-the same man who threw away a whole stack of onion rings because I _barely_ touched one of them-was rather appealing when his shields were down and his hands were free.

Speaking of hands, I stuttered let out a breath when the one on my back slid to cup one ass cheek.

Are you freakin' kidding me?

"You danced with that other guy," he grumbled, leaning into my ear. "Bad, girl…."

I trembled a little at how he groaned out the second part of his statement. His hand spanned down my ribcage.

"You don't dance," I whispered, fighting off the sensation of his breath against my skin.

"I actually can dance, but I prefer not to," he corrected, almost sounding sober. He looked up in my face, placing his finger up to his lips with a, "Shhh. Don't tell Leonard."

"I won't." I meekly pushed him again but he responded by tightening the grip on my ass and using his other hand to push my collar bone causing me to be pinned against the fence with his body pinned to me.

If my life depended on stopping my pulse from racing or the wetness from shamelessly forming between my legs, I would have been dead.

"I heard Howard tell Raj that he was planning on making some bad decisions tonight," Sheldon explained, though his eyes trailed the fence behind her instead of looking directly at her.

"Any decision he makes is a bad one," I mumbled.

"What bad decision did you make, Penny?" Sheldon asked, swaying his body back to look at her though it was very dark.

"Um, coming to see what you were doing and being dragged into some creepy corner. Sheldon, we shouldn't be-"

His finger suddenly slipped into my mouth and he gasped and removed it, and I could feel him wiping it on his pants.

"What the hell?" I hissed.

"I was trying to find your mouth in the dark."

"And you _pawed _my face? Sheldon, I-" Just then he did actually find my mouth.

In fact, it was more an invasion and I didn't even get to prepare for all the tongue I was experiencing. Both of his hands gripped my jaw line to hold my head in place as he continued his assault.

He pushed against me and I gasped into his mouth as a bulge made contact close to my hip.

I finally pushed him away and grabbed his hand, yanking him towards the party. "Sheldon, we can't do this. You're not the bad decision type."

I finally passed my friend who hosted the party and thanked her for an amazing time. I was standing directly in front of Sheldon so his raging boner was hidden from view. I didn't see the guys anywhere but didn't care as I dragged Sheldon to my car. It was time to go before Sheldon's 'indiscretions' became public. And he's been drunk and humiliated in front of people before and didn't need it again-and neither did I.

We had gotten there much later than when the party started so my car was parked quite a ways down. It was dark and I was gripping Sheldon's hand as he just blindly followed. As I fumbled with the key in the dark, Sheldon leaned on his side on the car and looked at me. Random lights around the street illuminated his form without any real distinction.

"I made a bad decision once," he murmured, almost groaning at the memory. "Ordered the shrimp special at Dragon Palace back home. It was like staring at shrimp just plucked from the sea. Bleeeh…."

He sighed heavily and rolled his body gently from side to side. I dropped the keys and growled in annoyance as I picked them up. I was currently sexually frustrated, confused, and wanting to go home. I sighed at the memory of the man I was dancing with before. He should have been the one I was taking home-not Sheldon.

I turned to Sheldon to tell him to be quiet for a minute when he snatched my keys and placed them on the roof of the car. His hands held mine and he raised them up, twining our fingers together.

My heart jumped.

"I want to make you my bad decision tonight," he said in a mellow voice.

When I drank, I got louder, more hyper. Sheldon got more subdued (and very horny).

"Sheldon, we can't. It would be weird," I forced myself to say though the way his fingers curled over my hands had my mind thinking other things.

He suddenly dropped my hands and backed up. "Promiscuous Penny...with everyone but me."

He almost sounded heart broken as he strolled to the other side of the car. I was a little hurt by his name for me, but decided to ignore it. I already knew he thought I was a big ol' slut half the time anyway…

Shaking my head, I finally unlocked the car and we drove home.

**Around 1am…and I hate to admit it, but I lost track of time after this…**

Walking up the stairs, Sheldon was quiet and I just wanted to get to my place. I knew this would happen-he would somehow make it awkward. I helped him inside his apartment, making sure he got into his room. He sat quietly on the bed and watched me fish out his pajamas for him.

"Are these your Saturday pj's," I ask him, trying to decipher between the plaids.

Sheldon's fingers came into view as he pulled his pajamas out of my hand. I looked up, startled. He closed the drawer and immediately pushed me against it, resuming the kissing where it had been left off at the party.

"Sheldon," I said between kisses. "We…can't…."

He dipped his body and actually pulled my knees out from under me, pushing me onto the top of his dresser. Behind me, where there is normally a mirror attached to the dresser, was a huge super hero poster.

He pushed my hair away from my shoulders, kissing my neck. I sighed.

"But, I don't want-"

"Penny?" He moved to the other side of my neck.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up." He lifted his head and found my lips again. I leaned back as he pushed me forward and I felt something drop. He looked down and saw that some of his trinkets were spilling all over the place.

He backed up and pulled me down. When he tugged at my small dress, I yelped, automatically pulling his hands away from me.

"I promise you _will _regret this, sweetie. Your first time shouldn't be drunk." I was still batting away his hands, but he'd somehow led me to his bed. He was totally ignoring me!

The worst part was that I was as aroused as he was and if I had another two drinks in me, we would have already been at it!

He pushed me on his bed and I was more pliable in laying back than I probably should have been. I watched in mild horror, but mostly in anticipation, as he actually slipped off his pants. I was surprised when I saw navy blue briefs instead of his 'tighty-whities'.

He kicked off his shoes and tossed his pants to the side. He still wore his shirts. "Te quiero a ti, mi amor."

"Uh…what?" I swallowed, my body heat rising as he crawled on top of me. "You know Spanish?" I struggled to decipher what he said. I'd foolishly taken French in high school.

"Simple words only."

"What did you say?" I tried to lean away from him but a big ass mattress thwarted my efforts.

He was dangerously close. "I said, Te quiero a ti, mi amor." He then smiled lazily and leaned in to kiss me.

Well, I knew Mi Amor…wait, that was 'My Love'…

And Quiero, I recognized that from the very old Taco Bell commercials with the Chihuahua. 'Want'. Something about wanting and calling me his love…

I pushed his shoulders back, disengaging a kiss I wasn't entirely focused on. "Did you say you want me in Spanish?"

He kissed my neck up to my ear. "Would you like to hear it in Klingon?"

"NO!" My protest came out in a delighted squeal as his hand snaked up my dress and squeezed my thigh.

His thickened member was resting against my other leg and he took liberties in kissing down my collar bone as his hand pushed my dress up. He kissed the top of my breasts and he lifted his hand to try to tug it lower to gain more access to my chest.

I bit my lip, hating myself for my next words. "Sheldon, I'm not the girl you want. You don't want to lose your virginity to me drunk on Cinco de Mayo."

He propped himself up and looked down at me, his eyes glassy. He licked his lips and I wasn't sure if he was processing what I was saying. He tugged his shirts over his head causing his hair to become slightly tousled.

"Por favor, no deje esta noche," he said, tugging his briefs down.

I gasped, sitting up and gulping. "I…what?"

"Please, don't leave tonight."

"How are you able to use Spanish drunk? I can barely speak English if I'm wasted," I teased, trying to ignore his pursuit of my panties, tugging at them but unsuccessful in their removal.

I pushed him away with a nervous laugh, working hard not to stare at his boner.

"Geez, Sheldon, I just…." His eyes pleaded with me.

Anyone else but Sheldon. _Anyone_ (note: anyone still excludes Howard. That's INFINTE EXCLUSIONS here, people).

Well, one kiss couldn't hurt and in his dim room and his current relaxed disposition, he was irresistible. I always thought he was cute, even a little cuter than Leonard, but the man drives me crazy!

"Penny?"

"Yea?"

"So, can I touch your boob?"

**Around 2am I guess. At this point, who cares?**

I did it. I let Sheldon Cooper touch my boob. But it wasn't as awkward as you might think. No, Dr. Cooper did pretty damn good.

His fingers were nimble. His gaze was steady. And, yes, his lips did touch the tips (right before his tongue snaked out and teased each nub into tightening).

He sighed and his eyes drifted down to the panties I still wore. His long fingers trailed down my stomach and I twitched as it tickled. I was so ready for whatever he had to offer, but my own conscience was still in full effect.

I guess I valued my friendship with Sheldon more than I thought. With this in mind, I decided to do what I did next despite my own sexual frustration.

Pushing Sheldon's hand away, I adjusted my position to lean over him. I captured his lips in a kiss, a sigh entering my mouth. My hand trailed his warm skin until it came into contact with his shaft.

As I played a naughty game with his tongue against mine, I stroked him evenly. His hips bucked lightly at first, but soon enough his hands were grabbing at my head to pull me closer with a few trips to my breasts for light fondling.

His hands braced my sides and gently tugged my forward. I lifted my head from the kiss and leaned my body up in the direction he was aiming me to move. He leaned his head towards me and sucked and teased my peaks as I stroked him faster.

"Sheldon," I found myself sighing out. I was so aroused that I almost stripped my panties and took him there, but you can't go back from sex. You can, however, from a hand job and some tit teasing.

"Penny…?" Sheldon somewhat moaned out. I jumped when his fingers started to tug at my panties again.

I squirmed away and did the only thing I knew would distract him. I almost choked at the way his hips bucked when I took his dick in my mouth.

"Very good, very good," he moaned out, his large hand getting lost in my hair.

Now, it isn't like I'm not freaking out here. I'm giving Sheldon head! Talk about CRAZY. But I was so hot for him just then, I wanted to be doing this. I wanted to hear my stoic friend cry out.

"I'm going to climax soon," he stated breathlessly.

I took my cue and pulled back, stroking him furiously as I licked my lips free of anything that lingered. With a few jolts, he came all over his stomach and flopped back with heavy pants.

"Don't move," I said quietly.

I don't think he could if he tried. I left for the bathroom and came back with a damp towel and a dry towel. I cleaned him up as he breathed lightly. I realized…he fell asleep. I slipped on my dress and actually helped him under his covers (it was like moving a log…).

I hoped he wouldn't get a chill because I didn't dress him, just covered him well and tip toed out of the room.

**The next morning**

The way I heard Sheldon knock on Sunday morning was weary and I bit my lip, not knowing what would be on the other side of the door.

It was what was to be expected: a hung over Sheldon Cooper.

"Why was I naked in my bed?" he asked, his voice tired and his appearance raggedy.

"Um…well-"

"Did I strip in front of people again?"

"No."

"Then why was I naked?"

"You don't remember any of it?"

He just blinked at me. Seriously? I went down on you and you recall nothing?

"I remember kissing you…" He looked away for a moment. "And throwing up very late at night…"

"Yep. That was pretty much it." Sue me. I was lying. I wasn't going to be the one to say 'I sucked your dick.'

"Really?" he cocked an eyebrow at me and I just nodded. I sighed and looked away for a moment. "I see."

"You may want some Tylenol in you, and maybe some water…or coffee." I held up my own cup. "Want some?"

"No, thank you." He paused for a moment. "That party was an interesting experience. Not certain I would repeat that."

"The night was crazy."

"The night was fine. I said the _party_ may not be the first I would repeat."

I stood there trying to decipher exactly what he said. He was about to turn and leave before he looked at me one more time, a smile playing on his lips.

"By the way, I do appreciate knowing that your mouth has better uses than sarcasm and unintelligible babble."

My mouth dropped, stunned into literal silence. I thought he'd forgotten a majority of the night.

That bastard. He remembered everything.

"Thank you." He leaned close and brought his lips to my ear. "Oh, and I do believe now, as per the social convention, reciprocation is in order."

I couldn't tell if this statement could be grouped with the other inappropriateness from the previous night, but I decided it didn't. This was a promise. And according to the look in his eyes before he walked back to his apartment, one he intended to keep…

XXX

**Alternate Endings:**

**Alternate Ending #2**

"The night was fine. I said the _party_ may not be the first I would repeat."

I stood there trying to decipher exactly what he said. He was about to turn and leave before he looked at me one more time, a smile playing on his lips.

"By the way, next time when I insist your panties come off, they'd better come off."

My mouth dropped, stunned into literal silence. I thought he'd forgotten a majority of the night.

That bastard. He remembered everything.

With a heavy smirk, he walked off.

**Alternate Ending #3**

"The night was fine. I said the _party_ may not be the first I would repeat."

I stood there trying to decipher exactly what said. He was about to turn and leave before he looked at me one more time, a smile playing on his lips.

"By the way, I do appreciate knowing that your mouth has better uses than sarcasm and unintelligible babble."

My mouth dropped, stunned into literal silence. I thought he'd forgotten a majority of the night.

That bastard. He remembered everything.

With a smirk, he walked off.

XXX

**Hope you enjoyed! Happy Cinco De Mayo! (And don't forget to check out Tjay M's story!)**


End file.
